Silent Night

In to silent night I xcuse myself
With an air of xpectation for dawnin' glory
Arriving unexpectedly abot mind's green turf
but none can I remember , its a worry

But the charm of night engulfs everyone
The charisma of darkness ever increases with the warmth of the beloved
Flowing passion, the beauty of it captured by none
In words, which always leaves me dumbstruck and naked

Bestowed kindness by the night is calmness
Brings serenity to soul like mail on express
some dull eyes, pay n' get ' high '
Never realising aroma of beauty that wait n' lie

For the lone there's the jewel in the sky
Presence of which fill the empty space they say
There is charmer in the sky so high
Guidin' the road , whichever is our way

This happenin' casually day after day
So little is seen, with little attention they pay
Races perish but still, jewels remain
lonely they roam in 'emptiness' of barren terrain


( This poem was written back in 1996 - During those period when we wait for the onset of monsoon's torrential rains ! )

A letter ...

Dear ,

I am writing you again… You know this is not the first letter I am writing to you and will not be the last one also. I just wanted to pour some of my thoughts and emotions into it. It was raining slightly… and I was looking through the window. Slowly, unknowingly, I submerged myself into the memories of our past years… When I met you for the first time… I just met you as I would meet any other stranger.
I did not even had the least thought that I would be blessed with such a beautiful gift in future (please….I need not tell you that it’s you…It’s so obvious).
Even after so much digging the old memories, I could not recollect when did we start dreaming together? There are so many dreams that we dreamt together… some realised and some are yet to be. Those days of trekking with you still make me feel energetic! That moon, which we gazed at, is still with us… I had felt as if only two eyes are gazing her. Even you too must have felt the same thing, I guess.
Sharing thoughts with you is really amazing… You come up with brighter ideas. You are more creative than me, I should accept. No matter what, I see many of your hidden talents and creative ideas blossoming and getting shape. My secret dream (you know it of course, before you no secrets) is getting transformed into reality. I really cherish all your success.

Let us not boast we are the perfect pair. We both know it… we have many differences of opinion even after having so much to call ‘our common things’. It’s also true that we accept each other unconditionally, because, it’s very true that the more you judge; the less you love. Apart from all these differences, we can share and discuss anything under the sky from a broken pencil to black-hole theory of Stephen Hawking! Really amazing isn’t it? We have accepted each other; hell with the word ‘perfect’.

Leaning on your shoulder, resting my head on your lap and holding your hand were all so comforting to me. Walking by the side of the river with hand in hand has provided me strength and support. Your arm around my shoulder tells me everything… still I don’t know… I am waiting for those actions to come to me in the form of words.

Come; let us dream together once again.

With lots of love - Best half!

Death - A feeling

It was 4:15 AM when I woke up.
Stupid thing about Japan is , it's already sunrise time at 4:45 AM.
Well before the show starts its the lights before the dawn that wakes you up.
I had to check my watch twice to make sure it's not 5 AM ( The time I had kept my alaram ).
Its really Me who wakes up the alaram !

So with a blank mind I fell back on the bed to catch up the remaining 45 min of disturbed sleep.
A little time had passed and it was a disillusional state and suddenly I felt , I am on my Death Bed.
The feeling was weird.

I was weak.
I was counting my breath.. I could feel the moment approaching when i would be taking my last breath.
I was drifting in to a semi conscious state to be awakened at a higher state.
But there was that attachment or some kind of pulling , I could not explain.
The nostalgic attachment for the body that housed, kept me as human.

Then I just let it go ...
Now I know , some where down the subconscious there is that attachment, that craving.
There are lot many unanswered questions that needs to be answered or needs to be nurtured.
For I know , for some of the questions the time is not ripe.

Weird Thots 0.1

• Virginity is not dignity. Its just the lack of right opportunity.
• I am one of my kind. As God never makes mistakes again and again !
• Your biggest loss is the money u can make but don't make.
• Trust but verify.
• Forgive but don't forget.
• Memory is what I have instead of a view.
• A life that ends with death is a life not worth living !

Reverie

She was young ,
& fresh , unexplored
I was innocent,
My 'Dream'- my fair lady
was stolen by someone
i hardly knew.
Now I have 'emptiness'
to follow,
Me , hard & brittle to the
core.

Joys of Life

The pleasure of life is in noticing the things that other do not...
There is joy in observing the smaller things in life ...

The time and again , I come again to these points , either by myself or when reminded. Today my best friend for life reminded me about it after seeing a photo of a small flower hardly noticed by Busy bees , but which was captured on photo frame on my weekly contemplative walk. Life is how you look at .. the paradigm .. the perspective , that changes the outcome. Life is not reaching destination. Its watching and enjoying the journey as well. Each and every moment of life offers multiple choices . The choice is up to you to make.

Every rain cloud has a silver lining
This is what my friend wrote to me when I was down and almost feeling suicidal going through the depression cycle. It was back in my college days. Almost alienated , going through the Identity crisis , waging a personal battle through the family trauma .. it was too much and pressure was building up. Then this friend from my High school who was doing higher studies in the lower class ( u know what i mean ) , gave an insightful lecture and a thoughtful letter. I was put in new path . I was asked to see the better side of life . Life has so many things to offer. Only you got to search for it . Its up to you .

I have realised the truth during my formative years exposed to harsh realities of life. The brutal and lethal truth. I think all these have hardened me . I have grown precociously , I believe. Those hard times , they leave a permanent mark on you.

So I have learnt to look for brighter side of life always. There are plenty when you have an inquisitive eyes of a child. They can be found in every walk of life . You have to keep your eyes open. There is no shortage for small goodies. Will you keep your eyes open .. Now !

What's in Name ?

You may be wondering what's behind that name ?
Particularly the Number 128 associated almost every where, my id , blog ..
It was my roll number for 5 years of learning, formative years. Everyone were known with a number. Each one was tagged with a number. It was a home away from home. Or shortly SRKVS - Sri Ramakrishna Vidyashala , My almamater . What ever I am , presently , my inner self was shaped during my tenure back in Mysore. The rest of my name or the beginning - RB (Pronounced as Arby ) stands for initials - like in Ravi Belegere's Name.